DALLAS — Zika! West Nile! Blood, bites, and bugs! It’s all coming to a home near you!
Whoa there! Not today. This silver screen premiere is canceled. Why? Mosquito Steve said so.
“It’s the number one killer. There’s no movies about it,” he laughed Tuesday. “We do movies about all the serial killers, but the number one killer, mosquitoes. There’s a reason people should be worried, no doubt.”
We’re not sure we even deserve him, but Mosquito Steve Moore is the hero we need in times like this.
“Okay, you’re the superhero network,” he told NewsFix. (Guilty as charged, Steve.) “I’ve thought about this. I’m not a superhero, but I might be a super villain, because I can take thousands of mosquito bites, and I’ve got a higher power that’s blessed me with the ability to withstand mosquitoes.”
With mosquitoes more dangerous than ever before and adapting to repellents at rapid rates, this North Texas inventor (and maybe super villain) has allowed thousands of mosquitoes to bite him in the name of research.
He even got West Nile in 2008!
He found the secret, though, and it’s a potent mix of essential oils.
“Out of 100 mosquitoes, only two are going to land on you,” he said, describing a recent study of his product.
And yeah, he said two.
He stressed clearing out any places that are wet and are good hiding spots just to play it safe. And when you apply your repellent, don’t make this mistake.
“They spray it on like that, and then they do this,” he said, rubbing his arms against each other to spread the repellent. “That makes, not just my repellent, any mosquito repellent you use, half as effective.”
Mosquito Steve’s cornered the market, y’all, and just in the nick of time.