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Don’t let those fluffy Easter Bunny videos fool you…


Bunnies are NOT cute and cuddly creatures. They’re evil. Pure evil, we tell ya!

Hey, don’t roll your eyes.

oh please

We’re not adults with a ridiculous rabbit phobia who were once traumatized kids — all because we pulled a stupid bunny’s tail when we were 7 and got bitten! We’ve got FACTS. Facts, we tell ya! LOL…


1) They make kids cry!

easter bunny crying kid
Courtesy: James Brooks (flickr)

We all know children have a sixth sense. If you’re ugly, they’ll tell you. If someone stinks, they’ll scream — “Ew, he stinks!” Kids speaketh the truth! And that’s exactly why they cry when parents make them hop on bad bunny’s lap every year for the dreaded Easter picture. They sense the evil!


2) They f#@$ like rabbits!

humping rabbit

Put your pecker away, Peter Cottontail. Have you no sense of decency?! Rabbits get busy anywhere and everywhere & hump ANYTHING. We get it, your sex drive is through the roof. Okay!


3) Rabbit’s tail = bad luck

rabbits foot

Enough said.


4) Red eyes = evil!

rabbit red eyes

We thought eating carrots give you better vision and clearer eyes. So, why the hell are their eyes red when your car headlights shine on them at night?!?! Things that make you go hmmmmmm… EVIL!


5) Have you not seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail?!

killer rabbit

See! Killer rabbit in the flesh taking a bite outta flesh!


6) They steal cookies from cute babies

cookie rabbit

How rude!


7) And… they play tricks on cute little old men

bugs bunny

Elmer Fudd is the true hero. He knew that darn Bugs Bunny was up to no good, out spreading evil… so he had to get him!

Come on, silly rabbit, respect your elders. Tricks are for kids!