China Is Fixated on Trump’s Granddaughter and This Bird

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A curious creature with audacious golden plumage has fascinated the world. We all watch intently as he struts about, soaking in the attention he knows he commands. An enigma, is he. What secret intent lies behind those sharp blue eyes?

Anyway, enough about Donald Trump. Check out this crazy bird.

This glorious golden pheasant at the Hangzhou Safari Park has become a thing because, well, look at him. He's got that "Trump hair in the front, medieval samurai in the back" thing going on. His nickname is "Little Red." Oh, he's perfect. We really needed this today.

The only bad thing about this news is that The People's Daily in China beat us to the Platonic ideal of bird puns.

Heh. Here, enjoy more Trump bird:

According to The People's Daily, Little Red's keeper says the bird is "more colourful than the other pheasants because he is very healthy," which honestly sounds like something Trump's personal physician would say. Is it possible for a soul to inhabit two bodies? Is there room in the White House for an aviary?

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