It’s Monday, and here are the 5 things you need to know to Get Up to Speed and Out the Door:
LAS VEGAS CRASH
‘It was intentional’: A woman, with a three-year-old child in tow, mowed down more than 30 pedestrians on the Las Vegas Strip last night. At least one person was killed. Cops have ruled out terrorism but say the woman deliberately drove onto sidewalks several times. “People were bouncing off the front of the car,” one witness said. Cops took the woman into custody and were running a battery of tests to figure out if she was drunk or high. They haven’t charged her yet. And they still don’t know the answer to the most important question: Why?
When the earth moved: In hindsight, the landslide that swallowed an industrial park in South China was inevitable. For months, hundreds of trucks, for the low low price of $38, dumped piles of trash on the side of a hill. The pile grew into an enormous man-made mountain. Yesterday, it came crashing down, a sea of earth swallowing up buildings and burying residents. At least 91 are missing.
Blame the messenger: Hey, the fight against ISIS is going just fine; it’s the media – with its saturation coverage – that’s spooking people. That’s what President Obama told NPR in an interview that releases today. “Look, the media is pursuing ratings,” he said. Aha, that explains it. Now if he can only convince Americans who’ve increasingly said in polls they doubt his ability to protect them from terrorist attacks.
Fireworks, what fireworks?: If you were hoping for Hillary Clinton to tear into Bernie Sanders over his staffers breaching her campaign info, boy were you let down. Sanders said he was sorry, Clinton accepted and that was that. All that pre-debate sniping and griping from both camps ended with a whimper, just minutes into Saturday’s Democratic debate. The candidates spent the rest of the time tarring and feathering The Donald. Hilz, however, may have gone a little too far when she said Trump’s “becoming ISIS’ best recruiter.”
MISS UNIVERSE PAGEANT
You had one job!: You’d think all those years hosting “Family Feud” would make Steve Harvey a natural at reading off a cue card. You’d be wrong. Harvey crowned the wrong Miss Universe last night – Miss Colombia instead of Miss Philippines. He then hurriedly tweeted out an apology – and misspelled both Colombia and the Philippines. Doh! In other pageant news, Miss Puerto Rico’s been suspended because she doesn’t like Muslims very much and felt the need to broadcast it 140 characters at a time.
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Fast and loose
“Furious 7” has been named the most mistake-filled movie of 2015, what with its factual errors and continuity issues. You know like that scene where Deckard Shaw is on the 7th floor of the building but when he walks out, the building’s only four floors.
This is no way to get the ladies
Grumpy grinches marched through Tokyo bashing Christmas as a capitalist holiday that discriminates against singles. Um, that’s Valentine’s Day.
FIFA honcho Sepp Blatter has been banned from all soccer-related activities for 8 years. Also banned is the guy who was seeking to replace him: Michel Platini. If you’re keeping count, that’s two big shots banned; seven busted; 14 charged.
WHAT’S FOR LUNCH
Here’s what’s coming up later.
Damned if you do, damned if you don’t
Nashua, New Hampshire, is asking all public school students to stay home today after someone emailed in a very detailed threat. The district can’t tell if it’s a hoax, but it also can’t take a chance.
X marks the spot
Space X is hoping the rocket it launches tonight lands safely back on earth. The last three times it’s tried didn’t go so well. Meanwhile, Jeff Bezos is like, Been there. Done that. (Here’s why landing a rocket is such a big deal.)
Number of the day: $238 million
Amount “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” brought in this weekend in the U.S. – making it the biggest opening in movie history. It’d be news if it wasn’t.
AND FINALLY …
Don’t worry, I goat this
This is Jemima the Goat, busting out ‘Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer’ on an electric guitar. This kid can play!