A Washington woman who went in for wisdom tooth surgery, still under the effects of anesthesia on the ride home, had to face the sad but hilarious revelation that she had not undergone a boob job.
That’s a long ride home for the patient, a woman named Shelby. Fortunately, her mom was recording cell phone video.
Shelby has puffier cheeks after waking up from oral surgery, but that’s about it. Still high on anesthesia, she’s confused and then completely devastated to find she’s not waking from breast augmentation surgery. Instead of two new, bigger breasts, she’s merely missing one wisdom tooth.
“I thought I’d wake up with bigger boobs!” Shelby cries to her mom, who can’t help but laugh. Which makes Shelby cry more.
“Why would you wake up with bigger boobs??” Shelby’s mom asks, cracking up at her daughter.
That’s when Shelby starts to really cry. “I don’t know. But I did,” she says with her face in her hand.
Mom can’t help but laugh — hysterically. “You weren’t getting boob surgery, you were getting your teeth out,” she explains.
That just makes it worse for Shelby!
“I know. But I wish I would have,” Shelby says, still crying.
Poor Shelby. “It’s not nice that he would do that…,” she says.
“Dentists don’t do implants,” Mom explains between fits of laughter.
“I want them,” Shelby says. “I wanted them.”
“You did?” Mom asks.
“Yeah,” Shelby answers sadly.
Why is Mom still driving home instead of making a u-turn and taking Shelby right back up there to get her new boobs??
“Why? Your boobs are a good size,” Mom tells her.
“Noooo. I want big ones,” Shelby whines.
“Why do you want big ones?” Mom asks.
And here it is, the root of the problem: “I can barely fill a B cup,” Shelby answers.
“You do fill a B cup,” Mom tells her.
“NO. That’s false advertisement,” Shelby says. Yowza. She may not have bigger boobs but she’s got ethics.
So Mom’s really getting some cardio out of all this laughter and poor Shelby is still sobbing.
And it’s not fair. Shelby’s friend has big boobs. “Well, Michelle has big boobs.”
Mom tries to reason with Shelby. “But her boobs are fake, aren’t they?”
“Yeah,” Shelby answers, really crying now. “I want them.” She can’t barely talk at this point. “I want her boobs.”
It’s Just. Not. Fair.
“Oh my God,” Mom says between laughing fits. “Well, I’m sorry you didn’t get fake boobs,” she tells Shelby.
If Shelby had forgotten her woes as she was looking out the car window, Mom just reminded her. “I wanted fake boobs,” Shelby says between boo-hoos.
No word on whether Shelby remembered any of this. Or if Michelle has forgiven Shelby for outing her fake boobs.