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Taliban Loses Their Head, Get a New One

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KABUL, AFGHANISTAN – Hey, Mr. Taliban, tally me a leader. / One-Eye’s dead and you need a new head.

The Taliban confirm that their one-eyed leader, Mullah Mohammed Omar, is indeed dead, as the Afghan government announced earlier in the week.

The Taliban wouldn’t confirm intelligence reports that Omar died in a Pakistani hospital two years ago. But their other news is that this guy, Mullah Akhtar Mohammed Mansoor will be their new leader. He was their number two guy, and may have already been their number one guy if Omar has been dead a couple of years.

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