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I am a Certified Sex Therapist, Couples Therapist, and Dating and Relationship Coach. Single, married or dating, I help you fulfill your relationship goals.

Recent Articles
  • Sex with Stefani: Questions that have you hot and bothered

    I am always talking to you about sex, but now here is your opportunity to ask your questions. After reading some viewer emails here are a few questions that you have on your mind. The first question: how many times do people have sex in a month on average? Well, according to the research by the Kinsey Institute, people between the ages of 18-29, have sex on average of 9 times per month. 40 and up, 6 times a month. […]

  • Sex with Stefani: Roadblocks to look out for to keep you out of a rut

    When people end-up on my couch, it’s not because their relationship is hot and heavy. It’s usually the opposite: there’s problems, and if not recognized, will mean a certain break-up. The key is accepting the road-blocks that have you and your partner in a rut. So, here’s what I’m gonna do—I’m gonna ask you a bunch of questions. Think how they relate to you. Have you stopped taking care of yourself or make less effort in your appearance? Does one […]

  • Sex with Stefani: Want to have more sex? Scheduling could be your answer

    Yes… schedule. Wait, hear me out!

  • Sex with Stefani: Lingerie could heat things up in the bedroom

    You ever notice there seems to be a day for everything?  Like National Coffee day, Sibling Day, Dog Day, you get the idea here.  Made-up holidays that are supposed to get you talking. Well, nothing gets you talking and fantasizing more than lingerie. Each spring, we all get to celebrate National Lingerie Day! The only day of the year, where LESS truly is more. My advice when it comes to sorting through the bras and bustier’s is to pick out […]

  • Sex With Stefani: What do you think about during sex?

    You would chuckle at the answers I get. From imagining sex with an ex to saying to yourself “did I remember to start the dishwasher?” Yeah, far from sexy. An answer I rarely hear among couples is — pleasure. Famous psychotherapist Fritz Perls said, “Lose your mind and come to your senses.” Which simply means, get out of your head and into your body. Focus on giving and receiving pleasure through the sensual senses — look, hear, taste, feel, touch, […]

  • Sex with Stefani: Keeping it sexy when you’re NOT in the mood

    Okay, so, you’re not in the mood. Work is stressing you out? The kids are driving you crazy? I get it. No need to even explain. And despite popular belief — men don’t always feel frisky, either. A recent study found that wives are actually 84% “usually” in the mood, compared to 64% of their husbands. So, how do you turn down sex with your spouse without offending them? Well, first thing’s first — try to stay away from the […]

  • Sex with Stefani: In a rut? How you can steam up your sex life

    There’s no question, sex lives can have their peaks and valleys. And, naturally, the valleys can worry couples. It’s one of the reasons why couples go to sex therapy. It’s common to get comfortable in a relationship or to lose interest when it comes to sex. Some of the signs include less effort in connecting, trying less to impress, or comparing your relationship to others in your life. When people go to therapy saying they want more sex, what they […]

  • Sex with Stefani: What motivates you to have sex?

    What motivates you to have sex? There have been a lot of studies about this subject, and most of the answers you would expect. For men: it’s physical attraction, it feels good, and of course pleasure. For women, it is all of those things plus affection, being in love, and having sex is fun. All of those things follow the stereotype that women have sex for an emotional connection, and all men care about is getting physical. But my clinical […]

  • Sex with Stefani: Having sex is good for your health

    Did you know sex makes you live longer? It’s not just a line to get you into bed. Sex is actually good for your heart. Having sex at least twice a week may lower your risk for heart disease by half according to studies. A second added benefit: a 25-minute lovemaking session can burn up to 100 calories an hour. If you are an overachiever you can burn even more calories, which is a great excuse to skip the gym. […]

  • Sex with Stefani: the key to being a good kisser

    Kissing is tricky. It can kinda be like Goldilocks: a little too hot, or a little too cold. They key is to make it just right. But how?  It’s easy to be a little too intense, or not intense enough. First, start small. And communicating about what’s working really does, well, work! Another piece of advice is to mirror your partner. If they kiss softly, you kiss softly.  After all, lips do have 100x more nerve endings than fingertips. And […]