Tis the season for gift giving and spreading good tidings to all. It’s also the season for your radio stations and the mall to play an endless, infinite loop of Christmas music.
And not all of them are that great. Take “Santa Baby” for instance…
This is hardly a festive song, it’s more a raunchy pop track with Christmas themed lyrics — and there’s always that one person who goes to the office Christmas party as sexy Mrs. Clause. This is their song.
Paul McCartney, you know — one of The Beatles — also had a terrible Christmas song.
If Sir Paul McCartney hadn’t written this song, it most likely would have never been released. It’s an endless loop of simple lyrics and way too much synth. No, thank you.
And how many times have you heard “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” being passed off as a Christmas carol?
For starters, Christmas or any indication of the holidays isn’t even mentioned in the lyrics, but also this song has a very… assertive message. Even Lady Gaga and Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s cute role reversal rendition of the song didn’t help the harassment-y feel of the song.
Here’s what a felony would sound like if it were a Christmas song.
Santa’s a cold-blooded gangster! He does a hit and run on an innocent little grandma and leaves her to fend for herself. That’s not very jolly of you, Saint Nick.
And lastly… who wants a hippo for Christmas?
Gayla Peevey sure wanted one and this song, back in 1953, peaked at number 24 on Billboard’s pop charts and guess what? Gayla Peevey actually got a hippopotamus for Christmas!
So if you want something, just write a song about it.