KILLEEN – Okay, Harry Potter fanatics and wannabes in Texas, here’s your chance to add some really unique credentials to your LinkedIn profile. A retreat for learning how to be a wizard and how to practice witchcraft is happening in our very own hill country next week. I KNOW!
The Worthwich School of Witchcraft and Wizardry is holding a 3-day all-inclusive Magical Retreat at the Parrie Haynes Ranch in Killeen, Texas, 50 miles north of Austin and about 2 1/2 hours from DFW.
First timers immediately get assigned to their houses and the first thing they learn is how to make a magic wand! Find that on Pinterest, I dare you.
Core curriculum for the 3-day education includes charms, herbology, potions, defensive magic (what a great course title), magical creatures, magical sports (which are probably way better than regular sports), and YES, flying lessons.
Astronomy is available, but only for returning students. Maybe they want you to get a little magic wand experience under your belt before you go pointing at the other planets? Those wands must pack a punch because you have to sign waiver of liability.
If you’re a serious Potterhead, you are allowed to bring a toad or an owl, provided you bring the creature’s own housing and food.
Okay, sit down for this part. It’s now $400 a ticket. Because wizardry and witchcraft. But that includes food, drink, lodging, and all activities. In addition to basic curriculum, you’ll have extracurricular activities like pumpkin-carving and magical shopping trips.
I haven’t done a ton of shopping in Killeen but from what I remember, ‘magical’ is not the first word that comes to mind. Maybe because I was wandless?
Just like (most) other schools, there are rules. If you break those rules, be ready for detention or removal of house points, which probably means your whole house gets punished for what you did and you will get picked last for all of the magical sports. Make sure your bad decisions are worth it.
And don’t push it, because those magic wands could be packing serious ammo.
However, with this being a school for legal adults and all, you’re allowed to bring your own potions (get it??), as long as you drink responsibly and don’t miss class or goof up over a hangover. Because rules.
The event info states (at the very, very bottom) the retreat is not affiliated with the Harry Potter franchise, J.K. Rowling, or Warner Bros. Entertainment. But it’s okay if that’s what made you want to learn wizardry and witchcraft.
Killeen is home to Fort Hood, the largest active duty armored military post in the United States.
Army + Wizardry. Could this be how we finally achieve world peace??
With so many great things coming from Texas, we can totally see it.