Monkey on the loose after attacking 16-year-old in Houston

HOUSTON — They’re going bananas down in H-Town searching for a wild monkey that’s running around town attacking people.

“It caught me and I just hollered,” Michael Schliesing said. “I hit it right in the head, right in the face, and knocked it out the window.”

Yep, a man and his 16-year-old granddaughter say they were sitting at a stop sign in South Houston when they monkey came out of nowhere!

“It just hops on this. It’s able to take up the whole space crouching,” explained Mariah Schliesing. “And that’s when it bares its teeth.”

It didn’t bite them, but the teen is on antibiotics to treat those scratches. Several people also claim to have spotted the monkey monkeying around town. So far, this is the only attack. No one seems to know where the primate even came from, but Houston’s Humane Department is on the hunt.

Maybe they should try to lure him with, uh, bananas. Just a thought.