Sex with Stefani: Roadblocks to look out for to keep you out of a rut

When people end-up on my couch, it’s not because their relationship is hot and heavy. It’s usually the opposite: there’s problems, and if not recognized, will mean a certain break-up.

The key is accepting the road-blocks that have you and your partner in a rut.

So, here’s what I’m gonna do—I’m gonna ask you a bunch of questions. Think how they relate to you.

  • Have you stopped taking care of yourself or make less effort in your appearance?
  • Does one partner control when you have sex?
  • Does one of you seek closeness while the other wants distance?  Translation: does someone say “we never talk” or ”I need space”?
  • Do you compare your relationship to others on social media? Remember, facebook can be fakebook..so be careful with that one.
  • Are you extremely jealous all the time?
  • And finally, do you prefer to be “alone” when it comes to sex, instead of being in the same room with your partner?

If you’ve answered “yes” to many of these questions. There’s no question you can get help from a therapist because things may be headed for some rough waters.

Time can be an issue here, because “sexless” relationships that keep going for weeks and months can, before you realize it, become years.  And the more time between encounters creates more awkwardness and anxiety.

Good luck to you. My hope is this helps prevent the break-up. And has the two of you “making-up" for lost time.