Hello Riverdale Class of 2017! It’s Richard from Zeus Comics!
A Bridal shower, Polly’s story, more Andrews construction woes and what I’m calling What The Hal… What the Hal… Cooper.
Jughead kicks us off with some narration comparing the Cooper family to Stepfords. It’s a juicy tease that doesn’t play out.
Between the Stepford’s reference and Herimone calling the Blossoms and the Coopers, the Hatfields and McCoys, I’m worried the Riverdale writer’s ages are showing.
No one under 25 will get those references.
I should know I’m…. 26.
Widowed, pregnant teen Polly (stay in school kids) reveals her side of the story to Sheriff Keller.
Explaining the drugs in Jason’s car wasn’t an addiction issue but a drugs for money run so Jason and Polly would have cash for their new life away from Riverdale.
Which takes us down a path where Southside Serpents leader and Jughead’s dad FP confirms, but only to our sleuths Betty and Jughead, that they did indeed provide Jason the drugs.
Oh! And Joaquin may be playing Kevin to keep an eye on Sheriff Keller. Don’t do it Joaquin. Don’t be gay for play.
And that’s about as far as we get into the season long Jason Blossom mystery. Instead we spend an inordinate amount of time with Fred Andrews' construction issues.
First his main crew quits for another job, then the Riverdale High School kids jump in to help and finally a replacement crew made up of serpents jumps on board.
Since there wasn’t any shirtless manual labor, I’m not sure anyone was paying attention.
We did however all check in for the bridal shower Hermione throws for Polly, particularly for scene stealer Cheryl.
As Veronica reminds us Boyfriend is just another word that starts with B… You know what else starts with B…? Bananas.
Alice Cooper is all over the place this season.
I’ve really enjoyed thinking of her as villain. But by the end of this episode we discover that Hal is the one that wanted to end Polly’s pregnancy.
Oh and that Hal and Alice did something similar when they were teenagers. By the way, they never use the “a” word. In all the drama Alice kicks out Hal but it’s not enough bring Polly home who instead decides to move in with the Blossoms.
Next up Cheryl makes a play for Archie as the Blossom/Cooper drama continues.
It’s an all new Riverdale… “La Grande Illusion”