Shame: 10 Things You Can’t Own Up to if You’re from DFW

via Flickr: James Whatley

By Kristina Rowe, NewsCastic

We could write a “You Know You’re from DFW if….” list, but that’s been done. So we’re taking all the things that would be on such a list, and quickly summing up for you what not to do. We can help you hide your faux pas. Don’t admit to any of these or people will make you as a transplant, or worse…a tourist.

 

You drink your iced tea unsweetened.

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This is DFW and the tea must be sweet. Really sweet. Lemon is optional. Sugar is not.

 

You hate the Dallas Cowboys.

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Here in DFW, not only can you not hate the Dallas Cowboys, you must love them. You can complain about Romo, wonder about Dak, despair over Jerry Jones, or even curse them when they lose but you absolute cannot NOT love the Dallas Cowboys.

 

You eat out less than once a week.

Here in DFW, or as we like to call it the land of thousands of restaurants, you must eat out. Sure brown-bagging is frugal and sustainable, but that simply must be balanced with frequent restaurant meals.

 

Jalapenos are too hot for you.

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If you can’t handle jalapenos, how will you ever step up to chipotle, serrano, or Hidalgo varieties? They’re in the Mexican food, they’re in the Chinese and Thai food — they’re in every food. Grab a glass of milk (not water) and toughen up those taste buds.

 

You don’t know much about cars.

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In DFW traffic jams, right of way is often determined by a ranking of each car’s price tag. Failure to recognize and rank makes and models is no excuse. Study up and yield accordingly.

 

Designer labels are totally unnecessary.

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This is DFW, the land of the affluent, or at least aspirational. From your shades to your shoes, you need to be bragging those brands, or at least pretending you do on “other” days.

 

You think brunch is silly.

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There is nothing silly about brunch. Although the menu at Chino Chinatown brunch is kind of funny — Miso Hungry, Miso Thirsty, or is it Miso Hungover?! Other than that, we take brunch pretty seriously here in DFW.

 

You’d rather hang out in the ‘burbs than go to Deep Ellum.

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It’s OK. We understand (Not). You can hang out in the suburbs instead of hitting the hot spots if you want. Just don’t tell anybody.

You still get a season pass to Six Flags every year.

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Unless you’re a teenager or a parent, there is simply no excuse for this. Tell no one.

 

Your phone doesn’t autopredict “y’all” when you type a “y”.

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Seriously, y’all. Y’all is the only acceptable form of you in singular or plural around here. No exceptions can be made for autocorrect — get that word in your dictionary stat or be known as a pariah. Or worse, a tourist.