Squirrels are Attacking People & It’s Probably a Sign of the End Times

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The Cubs won the World Series. Regardless of which “side” you’re on, you probably think the opposing presidential candidate is Satan incarnate.

Now, squirrels are attacking retirement homes!

I don’t know about you, but that sounds like the apocalypse story out of some religious book if I’ve ever heard one!

That’s right, according to the Orlando Sentinel, on November 3 a squirrel, a cute, fuzzy-wittle-squirrel, went on a biting rampage in a Volusia County senior living complex in Florida.

The beast with many names latched on to someone in the courtyard of the facility. Unable to break free, the victim ran inside with the animal.

That’s when all hell broke loose.

The animal then started jumping on other residents and biting them.

In a 911 call to the Volusia County Sheriff, a worker told the dispatcher “We had a squirrel that entered our building and it’s in our activity room and it’s jumping on people and biting them and scratching them.”

Overall, at least 3 people were injured.

Brian Fawkes, a spokesman for the retirement facility told the Washington Post that the squirrel was captured and thrown out the door.

Also on Thursday, a Washington D.C. officer accidentally shot himself in the foot while trying to fend off an attacking raccoon.

Maybe it’s a coincidence – animals do attack occasionally – or perhaps we should all be building bunkers in preparation for the vermin uprising.