The ‘Supernatural’ Men Get the Rachel Bloom Casting Breakdown Treatment

As a female lead of her own television show, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Rachel Bloom doesn’t have to worry about the rigmarole of casting calls and endless auditions. However, that doesn’t mean she’s willing to sit idly by while other actresses are forced to cram themselves into tiny casting description boxes.

Bloom made waves on Instagram and Twitter Wednesday (Aug. 10) when she called out a specific casting call for its hyper-sexualized male gaze character descriptions.

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Every female role listed specified either the body type, sexy attire or level of intimacy required with the male lead, while paying very little attention to other silly stuff like personality or character motivation. Because we all know the most important thing about a female character is how she looks and who she’s hooking up with, right?

In retaliation, Bloom decided to describe the Crazy Ex-Girlfriend male leads in the same way.

 

We absolutely adore the “singing a plus” tagline she added to the end of each character on her musical comedy series. Well played, Rachel Bloom.

In an effort to get in on the game, Zap2it decided the studs from Supernatural would make the perfect candidates for a similar male gaze casting breakdown.

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Dean Winchester (30s)

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Sex on legs with a winning smile and sparkling green eyes. Think more Chris Evans than Chris Hemsworth. Flawless skin, no tattoos, and perpetual scruff. Must look like an Ambercrombie model in jeans. *required number of shirtless scenes per season

Sam Winchester (30s)

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Tall. Like super tall. Muscles for days, with a jawline that would make even Meryl Streep swoon. Thin enough to pull off nerdy-hot, while still looking like he hits the gym every day. Soulful brown eyes a plus. *required number of shirtless scenes per season

Castiel (20,000+)

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Looking for an eternally beautiful 30-something to play ancient being who pre-dates humanity. Must have gruff voice and a puppy dog face to melt hearts. Tall, slender accountant type, if accountants graced the cover of GQ.

“Supernatural” returns Oct. 13 at 9 p.m. ET/PT on The CW.