By Kristi Rowe, NewsCastic
Maybe hate is too strong of a word for the things we don’t like around here, but DFWers tend to be a tad bit opinionated and exceptionally expressive to boot. So we didn’t hold back here. These are just a few of the things we love to hate. And in case you’re worried, we didn’t forget to mention the heat and the traffic. In fact, we gave them each more than one spot.
Did He Make the Dallas Cowboys What They Are?
The reason there aren’t any “10 Things We Hate About Jerry Jones” articles is because 10 isn’t enough. He’s just a guy we love to hate. And as soon as we forgive him for one thing, he makes us mad all over again.
There are decades-old Jerry Jones disasters (remember that guy everybody loved named Tom Landry?) and fresh ones that still sting (Brandon Weeden?!?!). We love our Dallas Cowboys, but when it comes to their owner, we’d rather see him later. A lot later.
This is NOT a Dry Heat
Arizonians occasionally minimize their hot weather worries, saying “But it’s a dry heat.” DFWers would never say such a thing. First off, because it’s not.
Humidity in the Dallas area averages 60-70% daily. But we also don’t even pretend to be tough about the heat. We hate it and we’re not afraid to say so. We’re also not afraid to air condition our buildings to the temperature of meat lockers, thus requiring some of our coworkers to wear jackets and coats inside the office.
The Heat of a Thousand Suns
We’ve already complained about the heat, but in areas with reflective high rise buildings, there’s yet another problem. The shiny buildings reflect the sun’s rays like a kid shining a magnifying glass on an ant.
This intense concentration of sun is causing damage to art at the Nasher, annoying neighbors near the Museum Tower apartments, and even melting plastic sidewalk signs into the downtown pavement. This might also be the phenomenon responsible for the white-hot temperature of your car seats and steering wheel.
Blinded by the Light
The sun doesn’t just turn your car into an oven, it also makes it hard to drive sometimes. If you’re headed east in the morning or west in the evening, the sun will render you completely blind for a few feet at a time in some places. No amount of wriggling around or adjusting the sun visor will fix it; you simply have to move forward on faith till a friendly tree or a small hill blocks the sun for you. (Driving experts recommend making sure your car lights are on so that oncoming cars can see you.)
Move Over, Sugar (While I Smash My GPS)
If the worst part of traffic is waiting, the very worst part is waiting your turn, knowing you’re just going to have to turn around somewhere down the same very crowded road. Because the nice GPS lady tells us, “turn right, then turn left”. She clearly isn’t aware that there are two or three full lanes of cars between you and the “then turn left” part.
Quit Picking Our Pockets
Sure, we hate our traffic, but we also hate any attempts to alleviate it – if they cost us money. The rise of toll roads in the area keeps some of us paying for the pleasure of our morning commute. Those who prefer not to pay stay busy finding the least ponderous routes to distant DFW suburbs. Lord have mercy.
They (Didn’t) Put Up a Parking Lot
Compared to other cities and metro areas, DFW’s parking problems are relatively minor. But that doesn’t help our mood when we want to eat somewhere on Greenville Avenue on a Friday night. Want to figure out how good a restaurant is? Seems to us the best measure is how few parking spaces they have available.
The One With the Most Toys Wins
Don’t be surprised if you discover that DFW is the metro area with the most snobs per capita. We have car snobs, music snobs, technology snobs, coffee snobs, and even address snobs! We sure wouldn’t want anyone to feel left out! Oh wait, that’s the whole point of being a snob, right?
It’s not just Dallas proper either – suburbs like Coppell, Plano, Flower Mound and Frisco have all been called out for their snobbishness. Our Western neighbor has plenty of snobs too, but one of them might be you. In Fort Worth, you might get called a snob – for something as simple as enjoying a craft beer or carrying a nice handbag.
Please Don’t Take Me to the Olive Garden
It’s not just food snobs who love to trash Olive Garden. And it’s not that their food is bad. Plenty of DFWers secretly love some endless salad and breadsticks.
But somewhere along the way, someone decided the Italian restaurant mainstay was the official symbol of all chain restaurants and any associated mediocrity. This seems snobby to us, and DFWers hate snobs, so we’re in a bit of a bind here. Care to discuss it over a Tour of Italy?
What Are We Going to EAT?
With so many fine restaurants in Dallas, we’re not sure why anyone ever eats chain restaurant food, fast food or takeout pizza (even the really good kind). Maybe family friendly convenience and familiarity win the day because it’s so darn hard to decide what’s for dinner around here.
Dallas and Addison have hundreds of restaurants each. Add in a couple more burbs and your choices number in the thousands. If you’re not starving from restaurant analysis paralysis tonight, don’t worry, you will be tomorrow.