By Alexis Stice, NewsCastic
Let’s face it a zombie apocalypse is inevitable. So why not prepare early? If you happen to be visiting or living in the DFW during this we got ideas that could save your life. Kick back, watch your favorite zombie flick and brainstorm with us all the reasons why you are in the perfect location. Survive through it all with the help of our handy, dandy list.
1. Other Source of Brains!
Texas has an abundance of livestock that is breathing and healthy. This is perfect for getting brains that aren’t for humans. We can allow them to exhaust this source while we figure out a plan B or just run for the hills. It is even great for us as well! We have enough cows to go around.
2. Lots of Land
It’s not a secret that Texas is filled with land. Especially in the DFW you will find a whole lot of land. This is crucial when it comes to hiding, making a plan, finding food and other valuable sources that are needed. When it comes to zombies the DFW has you covered and will be the perfect place to go if you want to survive.
We’ve seen what the humidity can do to our hair… imagine the zombies! They will quickly get dehydrated and tired making their survival rate much lower than ours. Continue through the night and day with the help of this handy tool. Next time the humidity messes with your hair think about what it can do to others.
The DFW has more water sources than you think! From Lake Ray Hubbard to White Rock and even Joe Pool we have it all. This is very important when it comes to staying hydrated and hygienic. They are also located in suburban areas making the location ideal because of its accessibility to everyone.
5. We Are Locked and Loaded… With Weapons
One of the biggest issues when it comes to an apocalypse is protecting yourself! With all of these handy laws and an abundance of gun ranges finding a weapon of choice is not only easy but probably right in front of you. The DFW is the place to be for a showdown with the zombies that will end in your favor.
6. The Dallas Cowboys
On the bright side, we have a secret weapon, the Dallas Cowboys. We’re hoping that maybe just maybe they might see them play and run for the hills! Of course, only a DFW native really gets this! They can always serve as a sacrifice when the going gets tough (no offense guys).
7. The Last of Us
Gamers have seen this all before and a little too close to home! Near the Austin area, the fictional game The Last of Us depicts a zombie apocalypse. We will most definitely take notes and strategize like Joel. This is our secret weapon thanks to its geographically accurate situations.
8. We Already Survived Ebola
We’ve seen it all before… sort of. The Dallas area specifically had a scare of its own with the Ebola crisis. If a zombie virus ever comes around we know exactly how to nip it in the bud before it becomes an epidemic. I mean were still alive right?
9. Kill Them With Kindness… or Our BBQ
Can’t we settle this over some delicious BBQ? We can through in some (most likely) fried brains and learn to get along. At least we can buy some time or co-exist.
10. or Our Drunk Drivers…
Dallas is an apparent leader when it comes to DWI related fatalities making it the leader in Texas so we would have no problem taking out the zombies with our cars. Just be sure you hit the zombies instead of pedestrians. If you can’t tell the difference be sure to see if they like brains.