5 Things to Know For Wednesday December 9

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A blowhard blowback, a defense offense and a plot that was not. It’s Wednesday, and here are the five things you need to know to Get Up to Speed and Out the Door.

trump

DONALD TRUMP

He’s got the whole world in his hands: If payback’s a you-know-what, then The Donald’s getting it in spades. After he proposed banning Muslims from entering the U.S., darned near everyone jumped on him. Philly’s mayor called him a not-so-nice name; the St. Petersburg mayor “banned” him from his city and a Vancouver councilman wants his name stripped from a Trump tower. Meh, all just dirt off his shoulder. A new poll shows 68% of his supporters will stand by Trump if he decides to go the third-party route.

SAN BERNARDINO SHOOTING

Ticking away the moments: Syed Rizwan Farook, the county health inspector-turned terrorist, may have planned an attack long before last week’s massacre in San Bernardino. Farook and another person plotted to strike on the Left Coast back in 2012. But they “got spooked” by rounds of terror-related arrests in the area at the time and dropped it. And he waited.

FREDDIE GRAY DEATH

Best offense is a good defense: It’s the defense’s turn in the trial of William Porter, the first of six Baltimore cops charged in Freddie Gray’s death. Gray, as you know, died of a neck injury while in police custody last spring. Before it rested yesterday, the prosecution argued the police officers were callous to Gray’s suffering. The defense’s game plan: portray Porter as just a young officer overwhelmed by the situation and the department’s massive bureaucracy.

CHICAGO POLICE

If it’s a day ending in -y: Another day, another shady police incident in the Windy City. This time it’s the case of Cedrick LaMont Chatman, an unarmed teen killed by cops two years ago. Police ruled it justified (of course), but the original investigator said he was fired when he said that was hogwash. Four cameras back up his claim, he says. The city doesn’t want the videos out (again, of course). A judge will see about that today.

ISIS

Win some, lose some: Lost – 60% of Ramadi after a three-pronged offensive by Iraqi troops. Yes!

Gained – A ginormous stockpile of U.S.-made weapons it looted from the Iraqi military and Syrian rebels. Sigh.

BREAKFAST BROWSE

People are talking about these. Read up. Join in.

Word of the day: “Identity.”

Dictionary.com’s word of the year. Because race, sexuality and gender were such live-wire topics this year. We’re just glad it wasn’t “emoji” *CoughOxford DictionaryCough*.

Meesa happy

The new Star Wars flick is Jar Jar Binks-free. Also absent: Ewoks. Woop woop!

Putting Baby in a corner

… of the living room, that is. ‘Dirty Dancing’ is returning as a TV movie. ABC promises you’ll have the time of your life.

My humps, my humps

Apple’s debuted a battery case for the juice-sucking iPhone – an ungainly lumpy case the sheeple will happily shell out $99 for.

apple case cnn.jpg

WHAT FOR LUNCH

Here’s what’s coming up later.

Psst, remember Colorado Springs: Neglected in our laser-sharp focus on San Bernardino is that other mass shooting. Suspect Robert Lewis Dear appears in court today to be charged in the attack on the Planned Parenthood clinic which killed three. Cops are still wishy-washy on the motive. But, come on, the suspect allegedly spoke of “baby parts.”

The big reveal: Time Magazine announces its person of the year this morning. Yes, the leader of ISIS is on the shortlist. Hey, Hitler won!

time person of the year

(Spoiler: Top row, second from left wins — German Chancellor Merkel)

Number of the day: $107,600

The amount Muslims United for San Bernardino raised in four days for the victims of the attack.

AND FINALLY …

What is this monkey business?

A zoo visitor’s magic trick has this curious orangutan ROTFL.