5 Things Today: ISIS Fans in America, Bacteria in Salad, Donkey in a Cop Car

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There’s an ISIS fan base in the U.S. There’s E. coli in some salads. And there’s a donkey in a police cruiser. It’s Wednesday, and here are the 5 things you need to know to Get Up to Speed and Out the Door.

CLIMATE CHANGE

Hot air: That didn’t take long! Obama barely landed from the Paris climate change summit — and the House was already waiting with two piping hot resolutions. It blocked the EPA from limiting how much carbon power plants can emit — not just existing plants, but future ones, too. This was clearly a poke in the eye to the White House, which put those rules in place to cut greenhouse gases. Obama’s already said he’ll veto, and the Dems say the GOP doesn’t have the votes to override it.

CHICAGO POLICE SHOOTING

Cop out: Chicago Mayor Rahm Emaneul’s having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad couple of days, thanks to the fallout from Laquan McDonald’s shooting death. He’s resisted calls to step down himself. But yesterday, he asked for the police chief’s resignation. It took Chicago PD 13 months to release dashcam footage of an officer killing Laquan. Now, the mother of Ronald Johnson, another man killed by Chicago cops, wants dashcam video released of that incident. The police response so far? Crickets.

ISIS SUPPORT

Sympathy for the devil: Turns out ISIS has a pretty big fan base in the U.S. A George Washington University study ID’d at least 300 Americans who actively sing its praises online and several thousand who sympathize with it. Here’s some more bad news: Last year, there were 15 arrests for ISIS-related activities. This year? 56! But wait, there’s more: Yesterday, Obama’s former top military intelligence guy said the White House ignored predictions about ISIS’ rise because it didn’t fit with the re-election “narrative.” Yowza

climate change CNN

E. COLI OUTBREAK

Spoiler alert: It started with some no-good celery in chicken salad. Now the FDA is recalling 155,000 foods from Georgia to Hawaii for possible E. coli contamination. Some, we’re not going to miss: roasted cauliflower kits, anyone? But also on the list are things like buffalo chicken burrito trays (yum!) — basically, anything that has celery from a batch produced by Taylor Farms Pacific. (See list here.) E. coli, of course, is that nasty bug that gives you diarrhea and bloody stool.

GUANTANAMO BAY

You know what? Never mind: Politicians say the darndest things to get elected. Then they get into office and can’t put their money where their mouth is. Take President Obama. For forever, he talked about closing Gitmo. Now, the White House says it can’t. It’ll cost too much.

BREAKFAST BROWSE

People are talking about these. Read up. Join in.

Quote of the day:

“You’ll be my curry. I’ll be your rice.”

— Psy, proving he’s no invisible-horse-riding one-hit wonder, is back with “Daddy,” which rivals “Gangnam Style” in the stupidly catchy department.

Shine bright like a diamond

Bling-happy scientists have discovered a way to super-heat carbon to make something called Q-carbon — which is even more brilliant than a diamond. But “Q-carbon is a girl’s best friend” just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

Surprise!

The photo of this unusual birthday cake went viral — for all the right reasons.

mandy cnn

Haul ass

An Oklahoma cop rescued a wandering donkey from a busy road and gave him a ride. The jackass was actually quite polite — until he turned the squad car into his restroom.

donkey cnn

It takes a village

Emirates Airline has unveiled a new plane that can seat 615. That’s the entire population of Circle, Montana. To do that, it had to lose its first-class section and its showers. Yes, showers.

WHAT’S FOR LUNCH

Here’s what’s coming up later.

With a little help from my friends: After the Paris attacks, France asked its allies to turn the screws tighter on ISIS. British and German lawmakers vote today on how to up their game.

Homeward bound: Lori Berenson spent 20 years in a Peruvian prison, convicted of plotting to overthrow the government. She’s expected to come home today– with her 6-year-old son, whom she raised in prison.

Number of the day:

22

The number of freebies Clippers center DeAndre Jordan bricked in a game against the Portland Trail Blazers. That ties the (worst) record, set by the great Wilt Chamberlain. Hey, at least he’s in good company.

And finally …

Opening crawl

“Star Wars: The Force Awakens” comes out December 18. You’ve got 16 days to catch up on the original trilogy and the three prequels. Or you can brush up on the major plot points in three minutes